Imperfect Love
by AnchorsAweigh13
Summary: Its been four years since Bella and Edward have left high school and since they have had a child, how have they handled living in the real word, what challenges will they face, can their love last.the story is better than summary R&R A/H
1. Chapter 1

"_Are you sure you want to do this Edward?" I asked hesitantly looking into his eyes._

"_Of course I'm sure. Are YOU sure YOU want to do this Bella?" He asked with the crooked smile that took my breath away._

"_I want this more than anything, to be connected to you, but I don't want you to feel like I'm pushing you into something you don't want to do." He had a look of confusion on his face, and right then and there I wished I had never come up with this idea, what was I thinking? He had been silent for so long that I thought he wasn't going to speak at all. Finally he said "Bella you aren't pushing me to do anything that I haven't thought about doing since I first laid my eyes on you. So yes I WANT to be with you."_

_All I could do was marvel at this superior being that lay above me staring intently in my brown eyes, until I finally regained the use of my voice, "I love you so much Edward."_

"_I love you… mommy." Wait did he just say what I think he said, mommy? Why would he be calling me mommy, was he trying to ruin the moment all of a sudden?_

****

**BPOV**

That's when I felt two petite hands firmly on my shoulders shaking me awake, "Mommy! Wake up, Wake up already!" and that's when I had realized I was dreaming.

"Nobody by the name of mommy goes here." I said as I hurled the blankets over my head and imitated a loud snore. My little one let out a phony shriek, giving me reason to peek out of the corner of my comforter. He was looking at me square in the eyes snickering into his hands, moving quickly I took him up into my arms and started tickling him.

"MOMMY… stop…. I'm… sorry…" he was trying to get out through sobs of hysterics. So my cunning son thought that he could out smart his mother, gazing openly at my impressive four year old, he carbon copy of his father, they had the same golden brown hair, the same emerald green eyes, they even had the same temper tantrums.

I could not believe how fast the time flew by, it seems as though just yesterday I had brought him home from the hospital, now he was a walking and talking machine. "Lennon Anthony Cullen, did you actually think you could pull a fast one on your mommy?"

"Well it worked didn't it?" he giggled again in his hands evidently from the look on my face.

"When did my child become so sneakingly smart?" I asked incredulously.

"He gets it from my side of the family naturally." I hadn't realized Edward was still in bed until I felt his arms snake around my waist and pull me down to lay on his chest where he kissed the top of my head. "Mmm your hair smells like strawberries, my favorite."

"Ewwwww daddy you shouldn't kiss girls, they have cooties!" he declared matter-of-fact.

I turned my face up to Edwards and placed a kiss right smack on his lips, then turned and cocked my head to the side "Lennon who said that girls have cooties?"

He faltered a moment not looking at me and said "Uncle Emmett, he said all girls are infested with cooties, whatever that means."

Now it was Edwards turn to roar with laughter "Your Uncle Emmett knows very little about girls, and anyway I love your mommy's cooties." He reached out his hand and ruffled his son's hair, "Now who is ready for some breakfast?"

"Ooh me, I wanna help. Can we have pannycakes?" he asked very seriously.

"Yes we may, and they are pronounced pancakes, little one" I picked him up placing him on my hip while making my way down the hall to the kitchen. I left Edward in the bedroom to put some pants and a shirt on; he had only had his boxers on when Lennon came into the room. "So are you excited about hanging out with pop Swan today?"

I situated him down on the counter next to me while I grabbed a mixing bowl from cupboard. "Pop Swan said he was going to take me fishing today if it doesn't rain." He glanced out the window as he said that, "I get to have my own big boy pole and everything."

"You and Pop Swan are going to have so much fun, can I come too?" His face scrunched up and he crossed his arms dramatically.

"Mommy this is a big boy weekend, no girls aloud." I positioned my bottom lip out into a pout, making it tremble. He reached his hands out to my face and pulled my lips up into a smile. "You wouldn't want to come, mommy you wouldn't like the fishy's."

"Yeah mommy you wouldn't like the fishy's" Edward startled me. He then came behind me, leaned down and whispered in my ear only loud enough for me to hear "but you might like my fishy."

I turned to find that crooked smile I love so much and playfully smacked his chest, "Why Mr. Cullen I do believe you have a dirty mind."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything, Stephenie Myers does **** I just own the characters I add.**

**A/N: Ok so my last chapter was a little shorter than I wanted it to be, but I still hope you enjoyed it **

It was Saturday evening and it was just Edward and I at home, Charlie had already picked up Lennon earlier that afternoon for some quality time together. It hadn't hit me until now that the last time Edward and I were alone like this on a weekend was well over a month I suppose. It was safe to say that this was desperately needed; it had been awhile since we were both intimate with one another. I had decided to do something romantic to spice it up in the bedroom; I had called Esme and Alice for some advice in that department since I had no idea where to even begin.

I had asked Esme to prepare dinner for us, considering the last time I tried cooking; the fire department was called due to my little mishap in the kitchen. Apparently you can't put metal in the microwave, after that incident I was banned from all cooking privileges, except making "pannycakes" with my child. Alice had been in charge of putting together my outfit, apparently sweat pants and a ratty old t-shirt wasn't the sexiest number in the world.

"Sweats, t-shirts? Really Bella, are those the only items you actually own!" She flung her arms up over her head as if to make her point.

"You know I like to be comfortable, Alice. You of all people should know by know that I don't look sexy when it comes to lingerie, I just look like an awkward mess." I spun around to hide my face from the blush that was creeping up to color my cheeks. I wasn't very good at talking about this kind of stuff with anybody let alone Edwards sister.

"Stay put! I will be right back." And before I could interject she was jetting out of my room and out to her car. "It's a good thing I came prepared, otherwise we would have had to go shopping and I know how much you just love that." She giggled while removing items of apparel out of a Victoria's secret bag.

"Oh shut up you brat." I said sarcastically, hurling a pillow at her pretty little head.

**EPOV**

Bella, well what can I possibly say about the love of my life other than her being my whole existence. She was constantly on my mind; a day didn't go by when I did not think of her. She was a beautiful, intelligent, tough woman who gave me the best gift of all, my son. I can even remember the day she told me she was expecting, that was also the day that I cried like a little pansy.

_*******_

_I had walked into the house to find a note sitting on the kitchen table with my name addressed on the front._

_Edward,_

_Meet me in the bathroom... Bella_

_When I had shuffled in through into the master bathroom I had discovered Bella sitting on the edge of the tub with her back hunched and her head in her hands, tears streaming down her ashen face. _

"_Bella love, what is it? What's the matter?" she just looked up at me without saying a word, it was like she was in some sort of hypnotic trance. "Did something happen?" I stepped in front of her to kneel down on one knee, and took both of her shoulders in my hands and gave her a bit of a shake._

_She finally started to move her lips but her answer was just above a whisper, "Edward? I-I'm pregnant." She eventually started to sob again into her hands. She slowly started to get to her feet and drag her feet over to stand in front of the mirror, glancing wide eyed at her reflection and absent-mindedly stroked her belly. _

"_Well that's a good thing right" I asked dumbfounded_

"_Are we even prepared to take on the task of raising a baby? I'm only 20 I don't know if I am ready for that responsibility. Are you?" she asked looking up at me through the mirror, pleading with me to understand what she was asking me._

"_Its not just going to be us, have you forgotten how big our family is? We are not alone in this and I'm sure as hell not going anywhere." I came to stand behind her and spun her around and bent down until my face was just the same height as her stomach, and brushed my lips softly along it, and whispered "he or she will have the best parents in the world."_

*******

Snapping back to reality with a huge grin on my face, I hadn't heard that someone had called my name. "Edward? Edward ol boy."

"Huh? Oh I'm sorry what can I do for you Robert?"

"I said how the new score for the commercial is going? Any progress since the last meeting?" he pushed up one eyebrow to make sure I was paying attention this time.

"It's… coming." And that was partially true, I had been working on it when he had called me into the office this morning, but lately I had been distracted. By what, who knows, I just didn't feel like my creative juices were flowing. I had felt like I could produce something much more improved than what I had already had.

"Well just as long as the work gets done, then we have nothing to worry about." He smirked in my direction. Now my boss was not one to smile often, in fact in the four years I have been here I don't think I have ever even seen him smile unless he was firing some poor helpless soul.

Robert was a short stout man, with a receding hair line in the front and almost completely bald in the back, why he kept the little hair that he had was a mystery to me. He wore the finest knock off suites, along with the briefcase to match. He had a round gut that would bob up and down every time he roared with laughter.

***

By the time I had arrived in the driveway it had become dark, and I had figured Bella would be getting ready for bed. I quietly opened the door surprised to find the whole house darkened with the only light source coming from what seemed like hundreds of candles, strewn all over the house. And standing by the table was the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on. And boy did she take my breath away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything, Stephenie Meyers does… except the characters I add **

**A/N: I'm glad everyone likes it thus far! Please review and let me know what I can add to it or what you think about it. It only takes but a second to review! So R&R **

**BPOV**

"I look like a freak. Is it supposed to look like this?" I screamed from the bathroom, clawing at the material twisting it this way and that way. "I think it's on backwards." I groaned while tangling my hands in my hair wanting to rip it out in frustration.

Standing in the door jam with arms crossed and a scrunched look on her face of disapproval, "No, no, definitely not that one." Turning her back mid sentence and heading back toward the disastrous bed with clothes thrown all over it, where she picked up another one "It's ok though, I have plenty more."

"You have more? But this is like the tenth outfit I've tried on already." I whined, how she can possibly have more items was a mystery to me, the bag must have had a drop bottom because it was not very big. "This is fucking ridiculous Alice, what's the point anymore; I'm never going to find anything that looks good on me." I stomped my foot and plopped face down on the bed.

Alice sighed and slowly crept toward me, reaching out her hand with what I assumed was going to be a heartfelt caress.

*SMACK*

Her hand came down hard on my ass, leaving a red mark I'm sure. "Ouch! Alice what the fuck. What was that for?" I rolled over to one elbow and with my other hand I rubbed the cheek that she smacked.

"Oh will you grow up Bella and stop feeling sorry for yourself." I had never heard Alice talk like this before, "Any girl would kill to have a body like yours, and you just complain." She tossed another outfit my way; this one was a black corset with black booty shorts that had a white bow on the rear.

"Well you don't understand since you haven't had a child ripped out of your vagina!" I tried to make my point but she just wasn't having any of it.

"That's what makes you so beautiful, but who am I to tell you that right?" she turned her back on me to grab the Victoria's secret bag from off the floor. She was silent for so long that I thought she was ignoring me, just when I was about to open my mouth to say her name she turned back to me with a smile on her lips.

"Alice? Listen I'm sorry. I appreciate everything you have done for me and I don't mean to be a party pooper." I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her and kissed her on the cheek. "Hey what's that behind you?"

"WHAT?" she quickly turned around and took the opportunity to get her back for hitting me earlier.

*SMACK*

Playfully whistling, looking around the room as if nothing happened I couldn't help but bust up in laughter. She just glared and stuck her tongue out at me. "I love you Alice."

"Yeah, yeah."

***

**EPOV**

Standing by the table lighting the last of the candles was the most beautiful woman I had laid my eyes on. I almost didn't recognize her; Bella was not one to wear lingerie because it wasn't comfortable as she put it. She just usually wore her sweatpants and her ratty old tee. This was certainly a change of scenery and I was definitely enjoying the view.

I couldn't help but snicker to myself. I could tell I had startled her and she turned around in surprise to find me laughing, "Oh, you scared me. I didn't hear you come i- what's the matter? Why are you laughing?" Her face fell as she rambled off questions. "You don't like it?"

"Huh? Oh no of course I like it. I'm just not used to seeing you all dolled up like this." I stepped over to stand in front of her; I put my finger under her chin and gently lifted her face so she was forced to look at me.

I smashed our lips together for a passionate kiss, her hands tangle in my hair, molding her body to mine. I brought my lips down to her neck feeling her shiver beneath my touch bringing Goosebumps on her flesh. Trailing kisses to the indent in her neck. Touching her was like touching a live wire, I could feel the intensity when we were together, and it was like nothing I had ever felt with anyone but her. I move my hands to her back and start to play with the clasps of her top, just then there comes a knock from the front door.

"Who the fuck could that be this late?" I said irritated, moving to go get the door. Standing there on the front porch was a tall dark skinned giant. "Can I help you, Black?"

"It's nice to see you too Cullen." He sneered, his posture shifted when he saw who had answered the door. "Is Bella home?"

"Actually we were in the middle of something, so if you don't mind how about coming back at a decent hour." I grinned as I moved from the door to close it in his smug face. He threw out his hand and pushed it back.

"Actually, I do mind. I want to see Bella." He started to get angry, which in fact was making me angry.

"Edward it's ok, I can handle this. Go wait for me in the kitchen please." She practically pushed me in that direction; she knew how I got when it came to Jacob Black. They had been dating when we were in high school, but it didn't last long. She had broken up with him her junior year and to this day I still don't think he quite forgives her completely.

I never understood why she had gone out with him in the first place, he was way too pushy. She didn't like it when I brought him up, she said that I wasn't worth talking about and that it belonged in the past.

***

**BPOV**

I had been so anxious trying to get everything perfect for Edward that I hadn't noticed that he entered the room, until I heard his soft laughter coming form behind me. This had not been the position I wanted to be in when he had come home. i could not believe he was actually laughing at me, I told Alice that I had looked like a freak, and his laugh just proved my point.

"Oh you scared me. I didn't hear you come i-what's the matter? Why are you laughing?" my face completely fell "you don't like it?"

"Huh? Oh no of course I like it, I'm just not used to seeing you all dolled up like this."

I put my head down to hide the tears that were stinging my eyes; he came to stand in front of me, placed his finger under my chin and gently lifted so I was forced to look into his eyes. I smashed our lips together in the heat of the moment for a passionate kiss, my hands tangled in his hair, molding my body to his. He brought his lips down towards my neck, the feeling so soft I couldn't help but shiver raising Goosebumps along my skin. Trailing kisses to the indent of my neck. It was so easy to love Edward, he was so gentle, never pushing me to do anything I wasn't certain of, I couldn't imagine spending one day without him here by my side. He gently slid his hands up my back and started to play with the clasps to my top. I could tell he was having a little trouble, he finally had gotten one of the buttons undone when there cam a knock at the front door.

_Perfect!_ Right when things were getting good someone had to come and disrupt us. I felt Edward go tense, and I could tell he was just as pissed "Who the fuck could that be this late?" He murmured stalking to answer the door.

I couldn't hear who it was or what was said, so I ran down the hallway to our room to throw my robe on. On my way back out to go check on what was going on I flicked the lights on, from what I could see I could tell things weren't going good.

**A/N ok so I don't really know about this chapter, I felt it kind of was lagging, but you tell me what you think, oh and Lennon will be coming back soon **** and more good stuff to come **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer; I do not own anything. Stephenie Meyers does, except for the characters I add. **

**A/N ok I want to thank everyone who has been reading, but you know what would make my day? Is if you review. It only takes a second to type. **

A week had passed since that so-called romantic night, the night where Jacob had so rudely interrupted. Edward didn't really talk to me the rest of the night; he was silent all throughout dinner, except for the occasional can you pass the salt and pepper. The only reason he was upset with me was because I had decided to talk to Jacob when I really should have told him to leave. I tried to make it up to Edward by suggesting we skip dinner and go straight to the bedroom. He looked up from his plate and said he just wanted to eat and go straight to sleep. I didn't argue with him, I knew it would do me no good; he would come around when he was ready.

Charlie had brought Lennon home the next day and I could tell he was exhausted; my little man could be a hand full sometimes. It was because he was so curious about everything going on around him; I really had no clue as to where he got all of his energy from. I was so happy to see my baby, I hated being apart from him I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could before he finally started kindergarten. He was growing up so fast and getting smarter by the day. Since being home he has been going on and on about catching his first fishy all by himself, but pop Swan had to release it back into the water because it was so small.

I lay awake staring at the ceiling thinking about how I was to approach Edward to end this silent treatment he was giving me, when I started to get a cramp. I carefully repositioned myself on my side carefully as to not wake sleeping beauty. To my surprise my movement didn't wake him; he had a slight snore coming from between his lips, all the hurt and anger erased from his features. He looked so peaceful in his sleep; I slowly leaned over to brush my lips against his, and nuzzled my head in between his neck and shoulder and breathed him in while the tears slowly escaped down my cheeks.

That's when two little raps came, "Mommy are you awake yet?" my little man whispered peeking from behind the door.

I quickly wiped the tears away before he had a chance to see them, "I am now buh- buh." snatching him up to pull him under the covers with me.

"Ma why you crying?"

This child was so observant lately, he knew something was going on but I didn't want him worrying about grown up stuff. "Your silly old mommy poked her eye, that's all." God I was terrible at lying.

He stretched up and planted a kiss over both of my eyes "my kissies make mommy all better."

"You're such a sweet boy, thank you baby." I kissed the top of his head

"Ma can I have trix for breakfast?" he asked playing with a strand of my hair

"My baby can have whatever her wants for breakfast. Come on lets let daddy sleep." I sat up, got out of bed and took Lennon's hand in mine and walked down stairs towards the kitchen.

I situated him on top of the counter while reaching up to grab a bowl, "Do you want your pirate bowl?"

"Yes please" he sung, swinging his little legs over the edge "can I watch peter pan?"

"Yes you may, but eat over your bowl so you don't spill, you hear me" he had a tendency of getting his cereal everywhere but in his mouth.

He loved his peter pan movie; he had a strange fascination with pirates, the way they talked, the way they dressed, how they lived at sea on a giant boat as he calls it. I set him up in the living room and I went back into the kitchen to pour myself a cup of coffee when I felt two familiar arms snake around my waist.

I dropped my mug in the sink shattering to a million pieces. "Shit"

"Language Mrs. Cullen" he buried his head in my neck and began kissing.

I moaned leaning into him "so I guess this is the end of the silent treatment?"

He turned me so I was looking at his face "Listen I didn't mean to make you cry I ju-"

"You didn't make me cry" how did he know I was crying

"Wait let me finish. I didn't mean to make you cry, I was just mad that you let Jacob get his way again. For some reason you can't say no to him." He stopped expecting me to interrupt him again, but when I didn't he continued. "And I know you have a past with him, but I see how he hurts you and that hurts me."

I could not believe I was married to such a wonderful man, well now I know why Lennon is so observant, he gets it from his father. But in all truth he was right there is some part of me that can't say no to Jacob, and who knows maybe it is because I have a past with him. I share something with him Edward will never understand.

"You know I would never mean to hurt you, you are the most important person in my life aside from our beautiful son." I stood on my tippy toes winding my arms around his neck embracing him in a passionate kiss. He placed his hands on my hips hoisting me up on the counter where I wrapped my legs around his waist to pull him closer to me, I never wanted to let him go.

"You know what's always good after a fight?" I murmured against his lips

"And what would that be?" he leaned back to look at me

"Well make up sex of course." I couldn't help but blush

He ran his hand across my cheek "and you say I have a dirty mind."

****

After breakfast I had Edward give Lennon a quick bath before Emmett and Jasper came by to pick him up. He loved spending time with his uncles, and they were so good with him. It gave Emmett practice for when he finally decides to become a dad. Once he was done with bath time, I got him dressed in his jeans, Captain Jack Sparrow hoodie and his black chucks.

"Bella they're here" he yelled up to me

"Ok we'll be right down" I shot back as I finished tying Lennon's shoe. "Now I want you to be on your best behavior buh-buh. Give mommy a kiss and have fun." I kissed my little man and sent him on his way, following behind him.

"Uncle Emmett, I'm ready to go now." He was yanking on his arm trying with all his mite to get his big uncle out through the door.

"Hold on a minute squirt, you don't even say hi to your favorite uncle, I see how it is." He feigned his hurt.

"Don't be such a big baby Uncle Emmett; now let's go puh-lease." Edward barked out a laugh and I had to stifle mine, I didn't want Lennon thinking it was ok to be rude like that.

"Yeah Uncle Emmett, don't be such a big baby." Edward mocked Lennon and the laughter started all over again.

"Bite me dude." He picked up Lennon and stalked out the front door

"Aw I think you hurt your brothers feelings." And with that said I couldn't control the giggles. Before I knew it Edward had scooped me up in his arms and dashed for the bedroom. He placed me gently on the bed and crawled on top of me carefully positioning his weight so he was not crushing me.

He started kissing me softly, then more passionately until I had to move my head for a breath. He continued trailing kisses to my collar bone until he was in the indent of my neck. He slid his hands up my sides and up under my shirt where his hand came to cup my left breast. His finger made circles around my nipple, Goosebumps rose along my flesh and I released a moan. I pulled his face back up to mine and tangled my hands in his hair.

He removed my shirt so fast, and had both of my hands pinned up above my head. He then proceeded to kiss me from my collar bone, down my chest to each nipple, starting with the left one. His tongue lightly grazed my tip before he clamped his teeth down and began nibbling. I arched my back into him, willing him to explore the rest of my body.

"Edward, I want you so bad right now." I panted, wishing he would stop teasing me. My legs wrapped around his waist pulling him down closer to me.

"God Bella, you are so fucking beautiful. You have no idea how happy you make me." He gave me the crooked smile I loved so much.

"Well you know what would make me happy right about now?"

"And what would that be?" he cocked his head raising one eye brow

"Is if you would shut up and fuck me already." I'm usually not one to curse, but right now I didn't care what was coming out of my mouth.

"Well, well aren't we a little bit impatient." My cheeks turned crimson and he chuckled "nothing more would give me the pleasure than to fuck you as you put it."

He took my thighs with his soft hands and spread them apart so he could position himself to go inside me, I had suddenly remembered how thick he was, so I turned my head to the side and quietly hissed so he wouldn't see my discomfort. His thrusts started off slow to get me used to his size, and then he slowly began to quicken his pace. Each movement taking me to ecstasy heaven. He switched to his back so that I was straddling him, moving my hip in sync with his. From the sounds Edward was making I could tell he was close to his release, as was I.

"Don't stop, don't stop that feels so good. I'm almost there." I exclaimed trying to catch my breath, with a few more movements of our combined waists I finally reached my breaking point, convulsing with pleasure. "Oh my god, Edward." I drooped down on his chest, panting and glistening with perspiration.

"Not bad if I do say so myself." He declared wagging his eyebrows

"What do you say we go again." I smiled biting my lip, gauging his reaction.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer; I do not own anything, Stephenie Meyers does!**

**A/N ok so I hope you all are liking this so far **

_It felt so good to feel the warmth of the sun shinning brightly on my soft pale face, to feel the winds breath danced along my skin, the sand beneath my exposed toes. It was a nice change from the constant rain back home._

"_Bella honey I'm so happy you've finally come to visit me." My mother was a beautiful woman in her own way; she had soft curls that bounced slightly with each step she took along the beach._

"_Me too mom" I grabbed her hand in mine and laid my head on her shoulder. Since my mom moved to Jacksonville with Phil I have rarely seen her, so it was nice to get out once in a while. _

"_It's a shame Edward couldn't come along with you." She patted the top of my head "I miss my son-in-law."_

"_And he misses you too mom, he had to work this weekend, he's been working a lot." His boss had been putting a lot of strain on him to finish the composition for the commercial they were working on. Honestly you wouldn't think coming up with a song for a shoe commercial would be so difficult, but apparently it was._

"_Well there is always next time." She led me along a small path that opened up to a more private beach, it was less crowded and had big overhanging palm trees giving off shady spots, where we laid a blanket and relaxed._

"_You know you and Phil are more than welcome to come over our way. We have plenty of room." I knew the answer she would give me, I have asked my mother to come visit me countless times before, but she always had some kind of an excuse. I knew deep down the only reason she didn't want to be was because she was afraid to bump into Charlie._

"_Isn't the water breathtaking?" or she found some way of changing the subject_

"_Nice way to dart that one mom." I turned my head to where she was looking and laughed._

"_Oh baby you know how hectic Phil's schedule is, it just wouldn't be a good time right now." She grabbed my face in between her hands and kissed the tip of my nose "But thank you."_

_I missed my mom more than anything; I missed our girl time and our mother daughter talks. She was a big part in my life, more than she knew. To lose her I would lose a big part of myself. "So how are you and Phil doing?"_

"_We are doing fantastic, I love him more today than the day I married him" every time my mother mention Phil she lit up, she had this grin she got when she was excited. You could tell that she was madly in love with this man._

"_Well I'm glad that you are so happy, you deserve it mom" I stared at her a little while longer, her just as pale skin was flushed from the sun, but I had a feeling a little bit of that was from talking about her husband. I got the same way whenever I mention Edward. "You know I'm gonna miss you when I leave."_

"_I'll miss you too, Bella… Bella?"_

I had awoken to Edward hovering over me gently shaking me. "Bella love wake up. You're crying."

I repeatedly blinked my eyes trying to focus through the fog of tears. "What?"

"You were crying and moaning mom over and over again." He had now embraced me in his grip; he placed my head on his chest rubbing my hair back. I silently sobbed into his shirt leaving a pattern of tears behind.

"Oh Edward" I couldn't hold it back any longer, I cried hysterically, the dream coming back to me. Now it may have not seemed sad but I was crying because that was a happy time that I didn't want to remember.

"Shh it's ok love, can you tell me what you were dreaming of?"

"I don't remember" I didn't want to upset him; if I tried to talk about my mom I would definitely lose it more than I already had.

"I don't believe you" he murmured into my hair

"I was dreaming about my mother, Edward." I think he could put two and two together with that information. He knew I didn't like to bring her up ever since that horrible day happened.

"Ah I see which dream was it this time?" he maneuvered so that he was in a position to look at my face; he knew when I was lying, or wasn't telling the exact truth.

"It was the time when I had visited her last, we were on the beach. Right before the accident with Phil." I couldn't look him in the eyes "she was so happy then, now its like I don't even know her."

"Bella look at me" when I did he went on "None of this was your fault. Phil dying, your mother going crazy, it had nothing to do with you."

"I cant help the way I feel Edward" I shot, I got out of bed and walked over to the dresser looking at him through the mirror "If I would have gone when I was supposed to then maybe Phil would still be alive and maybe my mother wouldn't be strapped to a fucking chair somewhere!" I felt bad for taking this out on him but I have kept it bottled up for so long, it felt good to release it to someone.

I realized I was shouting forgetting that Lennon was just down the hall, I stopped to listen and see if I had woken him up, but I didn't hear anything so I continued "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you"

"I don't mind" why did he have to be so wonderful, here I am taking all my frustration out on him and he didn't mind. I walked over to sit on his lap; I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?" he cocked his head looking confused

"That! I'm yelling at you and you are just taking it. It's not fair to you." He leaned back against the headboard resting his head on his arms, I turned to straddle him. I didn't deserve this amazing, loving, warm hearted man.

He grinned up at me I knew that look all too well, I smacked his chest "How can you even think about that at a time like this?" I started to climb off of him but he caught my waist and flipped me, trapping me on my back. He was much stronger than I was so I couldn't even budge.

"Hmm I have no idea as to what you are referring to." Between each word he would kiss a part of my body until he came up to my mouth and deeply kissed me.

"Wait, did you hear that?" I put my hand on his chest to stop him

"I didn't hear anything, I don't know what you're talking about" he proceeded to kiss me again

"There it is again" this time he heard it too because he loosed his grip on me so I could sit upright. "I'm going to check on Lennon" I got up and put my pants on. I walked down the hall and opened the door to find Lennon crying on the floor.

"Buh-buh what's the matter?" I bent down to pick him up and placed him on my lap, rocked him back and forth.

"I fell out of my bed. I gotta owey right here see." He held out his right arm and started crying again.

"Let mommy kiss it all better. *muah* there." As soon as my lips touched his arm he cried harder and said that hurt. "Ok mommy's sorry, how hard did you fall?"

"I don't know but it hurts." He cradled it with his other arm and that made me worried that he had really injured it.

"Ok let's go see daddy" I lifted him up on my hip where he placed his head down on my shoulder, still half asleep. I walked into the master bedroom to find Edward still in the same position I left him in. when he saw that Lennon was crying he sat up.

"What happened buddy?" he held out his arms and I handed him over.

"He fell out of his bed and I think he really hurt his arm." I bit my lip nervously "Maybe we should call your father?"

"Here let me see, does this hurt when I press on it?" he gently took Lennon's arm and applied pressure. He flinched and moaned a soft cry.

"Yes daddy"

"Ok sit tight buddy, I'll be right back." He laid him down on the pillow and covered him with the blanket; he curled up and closed his eyes.

"I don't think it's broken but I will call my dad just incase." He whispered and walked over to the night stand and grabbed his cell and dialed Carlisle.

"Carlisle can you please stop by and do me a favor?" he waited a beat

"Lennon fell out of his bed this morning and he is complaining that his arm hurts, now I checked it out and I don't think it's broken, but I am no doctor." I could hear Carlisle's voice faintly coming from the other end. He must have agreed because Edward snapped the phone shut. "He'll be right over."


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

**A/N: So thanks to everyone who is reading; I really appreciate it. Please leave me reviews to let me know what you all are thinking...thanks **

**EPOV**

"Bella look at me" she took her sweet time looking at me, but when she did I continued "None of this was your fault. Phil dying or your mother going crazy, it had nothing to do with you." I probably shouldn't have called her mother crazy; I could have used a less harsh of a word.

"I can't help the way I feel Edward," she paced her way over to the dresser where she watched me intently through the mirror, "If I would have gone when I was supposed to then maybe Phil would still be alive and maybe my mother wouldn't be strapped to a fucking chair somewhere!" she suddenly stopped and took a deep breath, she was finally releasing all this pent up anger she felt for herself. She was taking it out on me might I add but still it must have felt like a load has been lifted off of her shoulders.

She was shouting, she must have forgotten Lennon was down the hall asleep, she continued softer this time "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you"

"I don't mind" and I didn't, I knew she was intently trying to hurt me or start a fight and I knew I shouldn't have pushed her to talk about her mother when she wasn't ready. But I knew this dream would be playing in her mind all day if I didn't.

She walked over to sit on my lap, wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me

"Don't do that"

"Do what?" I said cocking me head, I was confused

"That! I'm yelling at you and you are just taking it. It's not fair to you." I leaned back against the headboard resting my head on my arms, she turned to straddle me.

I grinned up at her and I could tell she understood the look on my face all too well, she smacked my chest, but it didn't hurt. I would have to teach her how to hit a little harder than that if she ever wanted to do any damage. "How can you even think about that at a time like this?" she started to climb off of me, what did she think she was doing? I was faster than she would ever be and I was stronger, so I flipped her trapping her on her back. She tried to squirm but she had no luck.

"Hmm I have no idea as to what you are referring to." Between each word I would kiss a part of her body until I reached her mouth for a more deep passionate kiss. She seemed to enjoy it even if she didn't want to admit it.

"Wait, did you hear that?" she placed her hand firmly to stop me

"I didn't hear anything, I don't know what you're talking about" I pushed past her hand and proceeded to kiss her

"There it is again" she was right there was a noise because I heard it also, I backed away so she could sit upright "I'm going to check up on Lennon" she got out of bed and put her pants on and walked down the hall.

I switched to lie on my back, Bella didn't take long and she came waltzing back in the room with our crying four year old on her hip, I sat up worried. "What happened buddy?" I held out my arms so I can take him from Bella and she handed him to me.

"He fell out of his bed and I think he really hurt his arm." Bella had a nervous habit of biting her lip when she was worried "maybe we should call your father?"

"Here let me see, does this hurt when I press on it?" I lifted his small arm and applied gentle pressure; he flinched and moaned a soft cry.

"Yes daddy"

"Ok sit tight buddy, I'll be right back" I laid him back down on the pillow and covered him with the blanket, he cuddled up and closed his eyes, he still looked like he was half asleep and he was probably going to be cranky the rest of the day.

"I don't think it's broken, but I will call my dad just incase" I whispered grabbing my cell phone off of the night stand. I flipped it open and dialed Carlisle.

"Carlisle could you please stop by and do me a favor?"

"Edward? What is it son."

"Lennon fell out his bed this morning and he is complaining that his arm hurts; now I checked it out and I don't think it's broken, but I am no doctor"

"Ok I will be right over" I snapped the phone shut and grabbed a change of clothes

"He'll be right over, I'm just going to grab a quick shower." I walked in the bathroom where she followed behind me "care to join me?"

"Such a tempting offer" she thought she was so funny

"Har har such a jokester" I leaned in to kiss her forehead

My shower didn't take long so I threw on my clothes ran a brush through my hair and went to make some coffee, Bella decided she would stay in bed with Lennon incase he woke up again. Carlisle came over with Esme and Alice in tow.

"How is Lennon doing? Is he still complaining of any discomfort" I handed him a cup of coffee but he politely waved it away, Alice took it instead.

"He fell back asleep after I called you, he's up with Bella." They followed me upstairs; Lennon was awake laying on Bella watching cartoons.

"Hey Lennon is it alright if I look at your arm?" Carlisle was very good with people, especially children. He was very patient which is more than I can say for myself.

He looked up at Bella anxiously "its ok buh-buh, grandpa wont hurt you. He's just going to check your arm"

He nodded his head, Carlisle examined it the best he could since we weren't at the hospital to x-ray it. "Now I don't think it's broken, but I would feel better if we had an x-ray to be safe." He stood and turned toward me "if it's alright with you son I would like to take him to my office and do more tests"

"Do whatever you have to do, but I am coming with you"

"I'm coming too" Bella was biting her lip again; she pulled Lennon closer to him and rubbed his head.

"You're both more than welcome to come, but I don't think it is really necessary. I'm just going to do an x-ray and then send him on his way."

"Bella, Esme and I will stay here with you. Squirt will be just fine" Alice went to sit next to Bella and put her arm around her, now Alice was starting to call Lennon squirt, look what Emmett started.

"No I want my mommy" he clung to her looking scared; he didn't like hospitals because doctors led to needles.

"Alright baby, its ok I won't leave you"

"Buddy I will be there, you don't want daddy there?" I could see this wasn't going to be easy.

"Yes, but I want mommy too" he looked over at me

"Ok buddy, then let's let mommy get dressed." I reached over to pick him up and we went back down stairs so I could make him some breakfast.

We arrived at the hospital where Carlisle did his tests and x-rayed his arm. He came back out telling us we had nothing to worry about, "I'm happy to tell you that there is no break, but it does look like he bruised the bone so his arm will be sore for a few days." Carlisle handed him a sucker and had him choose what sticker he wanted. He turned back to me "But I do want you and Bella to keep an eye on him, but he should be just fine"

What a relief that was, well I guess he picked up his clumsiness from his mother and his smarts from me. "Thank you Carlisle for your help"

"Oh it was my pleasure, I'm just happy that my grandson didn't seriously hurt himself" he patted me on the shoulder. I felt the smallest tug on my pant leg I looked down to find Lennon standing next to me holding my leg.

"Hey buddy" I looked over to where he was sitting with Bella to find her missing "where did mommy go?"

"She said her tummy hurt, I think she went to the potty" he had his sucker in his mouth which was making him sticky

"Let's go check and see if she is ok" I grabbed his hand and we walked towards the restroom's, I spotted Bella coming out of the ladies room wiping her mouth with a paper towel.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer; I do not own anything, Stephenie Meyers does.**

**A/N ok so thank you for still reading, the story is going to start taking a major twist soon. Keep reading to find out what happens.**

The events of the following weeks were unexpected; I haven't been feeling any better since the morning I got horribly sick at the hospital. Carlisle had offered to give me a check up but I politely refused, brushing it off as stress due to work. The truth was I already had a feeling of what I thought the outcome would be, I was two weeks late and I had early symptoms. Lower abdominal cramps, nipple tenderness, I was always fatigued lately, vomiting.

Not to say I wasn't having any food cravings, because I was. I was craving anything that came in my line of sight, Chinese, Italian, Mexican, burgers and fries, chicken, mashed potatoes, and how can I forget dessert. I had one major sweet tooth. No matter how much I worked off everything I consumed my clothes just seemed to get tighter and tighter.

"Ugh! You have got to be fucking kidding me" I threw my hands in the air out of frustration.

"Mommy you said a bad word. I'm gonna tell daddy." His eyes got wide, placing his tiny hand over his mouth

"Mommy's sorry" so it seems my son was spying on me, lately I've had a mouth like a sailor and my son has been quite eager to run to Edward every time I slipped up. "There's no need to tell daddy buh-buh"

"No need to tell daddy what?" I hadn't noticed that Edward was perched in the doorway watching me and Lennon intently.

"That mommy said a bad word" he turned his attention back on me and giggled into his hands.

I narrowed my eyes at him "Traitor", I made a move as if to go grab him but he screamed and ran to hide behind Edward, his shield.

"Oh she did, did she." He cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow letting me know he wasn't very amused. It looked as though he was holing back a grin by the way his lips twitched.

I swallowed and bit my lip nervously, "I couldn't help it Edward, nothing fits, and I'm just… I'm just…" I couldn't find the right words to describe how I was feeling "frustrated"

He whirled around and leaned in front of Lennon "Buddy I put on cartoons for you and made you a snack, go on downstairs"

I couldn't see Lennon but I knew he was happy because I heard a small ok coming from behind Edward. He waited a beat more before standing up and turned back towards me. But before he did he shut the door quietly "I thought we weren't going to inappropriate language in front of him?"

I lowered my head and sighed, I knew he was right I didn't want Lennon to think it was ok to use these kinds of words; he was like a sponge that retained everything, and repeated everything. "Oh I'm sorry Edward, I don't know why I have been so moody lately." I had an idea as to why but I didn't want to inform him until I was absolutely positive.

His face loosened up a smidge but he was still firm "Are you still stressed over work?"

I ran my hand through my hair several times "yes" I hesitated and hoped he didn't catch it. "And on top of that I can't find anything to wear for tonight."

We were going out to dinner with family for Lennon's birthday, we still had a week but he wanted to celebrate it early, so I didn't argue with him. He had decided on the Rainforest Café.

"What do you mean you have nothing to wear?" he looked confused "You practically have a whole closet full of brand new clothes" he came to run his hand along the items

"Like I said nothing fits, did I stutter Edward? No I didn't." I shocked myself; I had no idea where that came from and he was expecting that either by the look on his face.

His hand stopped in mid air, he sucked in a breath "temper, temper Bella love" he tried to play it off but I knew I had hurt him.

I went to go wrap my arms around him and lay my head on his chest "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean it"

He faltered a moment before returning the embrace, "I know and I know it's just due to stress that is why I forgive you." He leaned down and kissed the top of my head "now do you need any help finding something to wear?"

"No I think I can manage" I raised my head and kissed him softly on the lips; he returned it and started to pull back as if to leave. Suddenly this overwhelming feeling came over me to jump him right then and there. I grabbed his t-shirt and pulled him close to me and started to ravage him, he wound his hands around my wrists and gently pushed me back.

"What's the matter?"

"As much as I would love to take you up on your offer, we're going to be late if you don't get a move on." He gave me his crooked smile I loved so much

I blushed and looked down, he tilted my head back up with his finger "you're right" I did my best impression of a forced smile, I didn't want to let him know that I was irritated again, these constant mood swings were starting to get to me.

And that's when I decided to take a test when I had the house to myself, could it be possible that I was pregnant? I mean yeah it could I wasn't using any type of birth control, and Edward and I were having unprotected sex so the probability was high.

"Bella? Hey earth to Bella." He pulled me out of reverie and I shook my head coming back to reality.

"Huh?"

"Are you ok?" he curiously asked

"Yes, I'm fine. Now scoot so I can get ready" I pushed him out of the door and locked it behind him, I wasn't sure why I had locked it but I did. After my shower, I rummaged twice through my closet, selecting a sleek black pencil skirt, and a white slim fitting shirt that made me look twice as big, but it would have to do for now. I had also picked my shiny red pumps. I decided to wear my hair super straight and go light on the makeup by just wearing black eyeliner and red lips.

As for jewelry I decided to stick with a black and white chunky bracelet and a black oversized ring, before leaving my room I sprits myself with my favorite perfume. I walked downstairs to find Edward pacing back and forth on his cell; it looked like he was arguing with someone. Lennon was still on the couch watching the TV and looked up when he heard me enter the room.

"You look pretty mommy"

"Thank you baby, and don't you look handsome. Are you ready to go?" I asked grabbing my cell off of the table and placing it in my purse.

"Yes can we go now mommy?"

"Yes buh-buh we are just waiting in your daddy" I looked over my shoulder and Edward was snapping his cell shut and cursing under his breath "Lennon do you have your jacket?"

"I don't know where it is, I looked alllll over" he cried

"Hey listen to me, it's on your chair in your room, go get it for mommy please." He turned and ran up the stairs; I heard his little feet patter on the floor.

"Well don't you look beautiful" I hadn't heard Edward sneak up behind me, I whirled around and saw that he look pretty amazing himself, he was in dark jeans and a white buttoned up shirt with the sleeves rolled up so his tattoo of Lennon's name was showing, he had a black vest over the shirt. He had on his black chucks.

"You don't look too bad yourself" he chuckled and meant to move towards me but stumbled I put out my arm to catch him just in time "whoa are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine, just a little dizzy that's all." I tried to help him over to the couch but he resisted "nothing to worry about"

I didn't believe him but I didn't want to make him upset so I dropped it "Ok whatever you say, are you ready to go?"

"Yes, where's Lennon?" he asked looking around


End file.
